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StayWell completes season
I'd like to start by thanking Lynn, Kay, Amanda, and Stacy for making us all
feel like celebrities on the diamond last night. Your support warmed our hearts
and swelled our heads. And, as you would expect from athletes with swollen
heads
who think they are celebrities, we're going on strike until we all get pay
raises.
I'd also like to thank everyone for a great season. It was a pleasure to play
with you all. I had a lot of fun and hope that you did too.
We didn't do too badly for an expansion team. Like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and
Arizona Diamondbacks before us, we were the whipping boys of our league. All
the
other teams have been playing together for years and have already worked
through
all the growing pains that we're just now overcoming.
As you read the DEFENSIVE NOTES below, you will see proof that we're starting
to get into a groove defensively. We finally found the best position for a lot of
players, and I think those people are starting to feel comfortable at those
spots.
"So what, Tony. The season's over." BS. We still have one game on Monday
(see details below), we may have a one-day tournament in September, and we may
get a chance to play at the StayWell summer party (date TBA). Besides, there's
always next year. The more people we have return to the roster next year, the
more we will improve. Besides, like the 1997 Florida Marlins, I'm hoping free
agency and deep pockets will turn this expansion team around.
Now to last night's game.
Yes it was a tough game to lose, but we certainly had fun. This game--our last
official game of the season--was not a typical StayWell game for many reasons.
There was no umpire, and therefore no walks.
This was by far the lowest scoring game we've played, and consequently the fastest game we've played.
This is the only time we've played on a field with a fence. That makes home
runs
a little more clear cut.
It was roughly 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit on the field.
We had seven fans at last night's game: four coworkers, Lisa's parents, and a
clean-shaven, sober, young gentleman who will be Suzanne's date to our
company's
summer party.
This game wasn't without it's fireworks.
Offensive Notes
Dan has gotten tired of hitting home runs right handed. So he decided to hit a
left-handed dinger last night. It was a beautiful shot through some trees and
over the fence.
Our team averaged one home run per game this season.
Dan also hit one of our four doubles helping him tally three runs batted in.
Dave Plunkett (AKA: Spider-Man) had a typically good night at the plate going 2
for 3 with a double and a run scored. Using his Spidey Sense[TM], he was able
to
know just when to spring for home on a sacrifice pop fly hit by Peter Basile.
The now famous and soon-to-be highest paid pitcher in the league, Lisa, matched
Dave's stats. exactly: 2 hits in 3 at bats, 1 double, and one run.
Unsung hero of the game goes to Jim Freeman, who batted 1.000 on the night
going
2 for 2 with a double.
Our team averaged 4 doubles per game this season.
Defensive Notes
Our fans witnessed a league first: three 1,2,3 innings in a row!
The person we can thank most for this is the game MVP, Lisa, who pitched an
amazing game. She not only struck out one batter (that's not easy to do when
there's no umpire) but she also fielded the vast majority of EDIC's ground
balls. You'll be happy to know that her parents were there to witness this
stellar performance. We were happy to know that they brought a large jug of
water during this heat wave.
Robert (AKA: Mr. Stretch) had another great day at first base catching every
throw that Lisa sent his way. The rest of the team just relaxed and enjoyed the
show.
WET T-SHIRT CONTEST?
Yes, we had an impromptu wet T-shirt contest after our last official game of the
season. After watching Lisa and Robert play catch for six-and-a-half innings,
we
had to relieve ourselves. (That's just an expression.)
So we all went for a little jaunt in the Frog Pond on the Common. One of our
coworkers took some nice action shots that will soon be attached to an e-mail
near you. Though we lost the game, we won the contest hands down. The proof
will
be in the proofs, if you know what I mean.
If you're looking for us, we'll all be getting shots for staph. infections,
malaria, and typhoid. Film at 11:00.
THIS WAS NOT OUR LAST GAME
We will have an inter-league scrimmage against the State House Press team at
the Esplanade at 6:00 on Monday, July 27th. This game means nothing for our record
so we're sure to have that much more fun. Please come cheer on your StayWell
Sluggers for what could be their last performance--I mean game--of the year.
Remember, this year it's free. We may raise ticket prices next year. Hey, how
else will we get those salary increases?
Game Boxscore
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