| StayWell Sluggers
Player Profile
Nickname: ElRoe "Roe was our only left-handed bat on the roster," an exasperated Coach Tony said in a recent interview. "Fortunately, our agreement with the Nasland Nerds, her new team, states that we can keep ElRoe on our roster and use her to fill out our lineup anytime she travels to Boston." But with ElRoe only looking to play one or two games this season, the Sluggers are in a world of hurt. "Every time one of our women came up to bat, all the outfielders would move up to the infield dirt," the coach explained. "ElRoe would often clock it over their heads for an easy double. What's more, she's our only lefty. We were always able to hit to all fields during a game. Now we need to rely even more on our switch hitters." "I can't wait to become a free agent," Roe hissed. "My surprising bat speed and consistent glove will serve me well in this market. I'm sorry I had to leave StayWell, but it wasn't in my control. I'll always value my time with the Sluggers. They had their priorities straight--beer, fun, softball--that's the way it ought to be." Not only is ElRoe making more money playing short field for the Nasland Nerds, she signed an endorsement deal with the San Diego Zoo as well. "They want me to encourage tourism," the south paw explained. "I have to wear Geranimals to every game, eat animal crackers on the bench, and work zoo life into all my post-game speeches." When asked how she explains her skyrocketing batting average and plummeting errors since leaving the Sluggers, ElRoe had this to say, "The Sluggers trained me like a lion, like a well-trained, fun-loving lion. Kids would love to take pictures of me and learn so much from me. Now I'm like a cheetah on the field--a cheetah that's ready to pounce on it's prey. The ball is my prey." Until spring training starts, you can find ElRoe on display at the San Diego Zoo next to the Orangutans, wearing Geranimals, and eating animal crackers. |
|||||||||||||||||||
| Roe Statistics |
Season AVG GP-GS AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI TB SLG% BB SO GDP OB% SF SH PO 1998 .278 5-1 18 1 5 1 0 0 4 6 .333 0 1 0 .278 0 1 7