Sluggers Game Summary
CRP
June 13

CRP Dominates Sluggers 28-5
Two fans witness worst game ever played by the Green and White.

Asleep at the wheel?
Blindsided?
Ugly?
Expo-like?

The team bus driver, a sign language expert, Rosie OâDonnell, and reporters all tried to come up with adjectives to describe the car accident they saw on Field 1 of the Esplanade on Wednesday.

Full moon?
Just one of those days?
Not dry roasted?

Fans, announcers, and peanut vendors alike tried to come up with reasons why the Sluggers appeared listless at the plate and useless in the field. Red Man Joe, who has been umpping Sluggers games since the '98 season, said that this game was the worst he's ever seen them play.

The Sluggers (that is only a name) definitely missed the likes of Dan ãDingerä Landesman, Robert ãStretchä Orleman, and Brandon ãWaiting Forä Guttman. ãWe missed the clubhouse presence of Dinger and Stretch tonight,ä Isaac ãThe Tool Manä Taylor said in a post-game interview. ãThose guys are real clubhouse guys, you know? Theyâre a stabling factor for us. They calm us down when we get tight. They lift us up when weâre down. They see us when weâre sleeping. They know when weâre awake. They see when we hit bad or good. When theyâre here, youâd better hit good for goodness sake.ä Landesman, who was just getting hot at the plate, missed the game for ãpersonal reasonsä. He was unreachable by phone. Orleman stated ãpersona reasonsä when asked where he was for this important game against an old division rival. When asked if his recent marriage to shortfielder, Wendy Millard had anything to do with his absence, Orleman responded to the reporters with, ãYou know I canât comment on that.ä Guttmanâs comments to reporters cannot be printed here. Letâs just say that heâs ãcolorfulä.

Offensive Player of the Game
Steve ãWheelsä Baer was the only player to go 3 for 3 at the plate Wednesday. He had two doubles and an RBI, giving him a solitary lead in nearly every offensive category. See those stats here. Click on any heading (R, H, HR, etc.) to sort by that category.

This reporter would like to do his Will McDonough impression by giving a salute to Baerâs father, who is an avid reader of this column and taught Wheels everything he knows about base running.

Defensive Player of the Game
Ummm·letâs just move on.

Player of the Week
Strapping young buck, Will ãThe Naturalä Jamieson was a shoo-in for Player of the Week. First came his impressive home run in the second inning. The leadoff solo job awoke the crowd from their slumber. Then came Jamiesonâs steady performance in his first appearance in center field. He was the only Slugger to provide consistent defense on this forgettable night for Green and White fans.

The Natural is now batting .538 and slugging 1.230. Heâs just getting comfortable folks. If he keeps hitting like this, the rookie is sure to move up from the league-minimum salary for next season, moving him one step closer to that life-long goal of ãowning a bad-ass Beamer before I'm 30.ä See Jamiesonâs Player of the Week stats here.

Next Game
After a much needed bye week, the Sluggers continue their home stand as they host Shriners Hospital, June 26th at 5:30 on Field 2 of the Esplanade. All fans receive a free beer at the Red Hat after the game.

Batting Summary

No.	Name	Pos	AB	R	H	BI	2B	3B	HR	BB	K	SF
8	Tony Vinciguerra	SS/SF	3	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0
21	Craig Trumm	1B	4	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
51	George Hart	3B	3	1	2	1	0	0	0	0	0	0
18	Steve Baer	SF/C	3	1	3	1	2	0	0	0	0	0
7	Isaac Taylor	LF	3	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0
27	Tamara Stanley	2B/SS	3	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0
22	Will Jamieson	CF	3	1	1	1	0	0	1	0	0	0
4	Lisa Chiuchiolo	P	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	1	1	0
16	Brian Wightman	RF	3	0	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0
11	Julie Scotti	C/2B	3	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
	Totals		27	5	9	5	3	0	1	2	1	0

Linescore	1	2	3	4	5	6	7		R	H	E
CRP	3	5	3	3	2	2	10		28	35	4
Sluggers	1	1	1	0	0	2	0		5	10	3

Pitching Summary

No.	Name	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR
4	Lisa Chiuchiolo (Loss)	7	35	28	24	2	1	3
	Totals	0.0	0	0	0	0	0	0