Sluggers Game Summary
at CRP
July 31

Back in First

Sluggers defense mutes CRP bats in 10-6 win

--BOSTON, July 31, 2002

The July 31 write-up is brought to you by In-n-Out Burger (motto: “mmm....grease...”)

The only other time the Sluggers (motto: “We Never Met a Beer We Didn’t Like”) flushed the Crappers (motto: “Don’t Complain. We Could Be Louder.”) was on August 8, 2001. In that contest, the Sluggers slaughter-ruled CRP 29-13 in 5½ innings. That win jumped the Sluggers up to second place, earning them their first playoff berth in team history.

This year’s 6-inning win puts the Sluggers back into first place, virtually guaranteeing them another playoff appearance. This game only last six innings, but not due to the slaughter rule. Teams playing for Governor Jane Swift’s office (motto: It’s Not My Money) pulled political rank over the MDC Co-Ed Softball League (motto: “Because We Decide Who Gets the Field Permits”), and forced the Sluggers/Crappers game to end after six full innings.

Special thanks to Tamara “T Stop” Stanley (motto: “I Can Give Anyone a Hilarious Nickname”), who could not be in the lineup due to “a previous obligation”, but still stayed on the bench to cheer on the team and keep score.

Tonight’s game proved how evenly matched these rivals are. Each team sent 10 batters to the plate in the first inning, and each team scored five runs in that inning. ABC wishes they had sitcoms that lasted as long as the first inning.

Offensive Play of the Game
The Offensive Play of the Game Award is brought to you by the Massachusetts Tourism Board (motto: “There’s More Than Just Boston Here, Really”)

This week’s Offensive Play of the Game occurred with one runner on ( Wendy “Wender Woman” Millard, who cranked a nice single the opposite way) and one out in the top of the fourth inning. Aaron “Penguin” Mathieu unloaded to deep center field. By the time the ball stopped rolling up against the Storrow Drive fence, the Sluggers were up 10 to 6.

“It’s a good thing that fence was there,” said bench coach, Dan “Dinger” Landesman after the game. “Penguin could have been responsible for a 15-car pile-up on Storrow Drive.”

Let’s listen to the play-by-play announcer on WSLG, the Sluggers radio network:
“There’s a drive, deep to center, way back, WAY BACK...THIS BALL IS...caught. We’ll be right back after these messages.” Sorry, that was the wrong call. Let us rewind the tape a little further, and we’ll get back to you.

Other Offensive Highlights
Other Offensive Highlights are brought to you by The Warped Toy List (motto: “How Far Can You Stretch Your Monster?”)

Isaac “Formerly Known as The Tool Man” Taylor hit a two-run homer in the fourth inning that put the Sluggers up 7 to 6, a lead they would never relinquish.

Dan “Dinger” Landesman hit his team-leading fourth sacrifice fly (SF) in the first inning.

This Slugger batted 1.000 today:

• Aaron “Penguin” Mathieu went 2 for 2 with a double, a home run, 3 RBI, and one run scored.

Defensive Play of the Game
The Defensive Play of the Game Award is brought to you by Isotoner Gloves (motto: “Control Swelling Comfortably and Fashionably.”)

The Sluggers displayed a tremendous amount of great glove work this week. They even held “Buff Man” (as the official scorer called him) to two singles.

This week’s Defensive Play of the Game occurred in the bottom of the third inning. Tony “Skip” Vinciguerra (motto: “I Bat Leadoff and Start at Short Because I’m the Coach”) botched an easy throw to first, but George “The Hit Man” Hart (motto: “He Hate Me”) leaped toward the home plate side of first to catch the horrendous throw and followed with a sweep tag of “Ponytails” (as the official scorer called her) to complete the 1-2-3 inning and keep the Sluggers within a run.

Hart also made a nice play on a bad throw by third baseman Ted “Ballgame” Johnson (motto: “I’m Funny, Dammit!”) to end the first inning and keep a runner stranded on second base.

Honorable Mention
The Defensive Play of the Game Honorable Mention Award is brought to you by Jiffy Lube (motto: “Need a Quick Lube?”)

Will “The Natural” Jamieson (motto: “Stop, Drop, and Roll”) made another amazing, diving catch tonight to make the first out of the second inning. This one even got props from the Crappers loud mouth short stop.

With two out in the bottom of the fifth inning, Michelle “Ball First, Base Second” Zoltowski (motto: “My Bruises Are Real”) took another hard liner off of the leg tonight, but had the wherewithal to pick up the ball and get the out at first to complete the Sluggers second 1-2-3 inning of the night.

Wendy “Wender Woman” Millard (motto: “Nice Pants”) , playing second base, kept her composure after being taken out by the sliding “Tight Pants” (as the official scorer called him), who was breaking up the double play.

Teddy Points
Teddy Points are brought to you by Ball Park Franks (motto: “Do You Really Want to Know What Type of Meat They’re Made Of?”)

After each game, at the Red Hat, Ted “Ruxpin” Johnson (motto: “I Never Met a Wine I Didn’t Like”) hands out points given for the little things that don’t show up in the box score but still contribute greatly to the team’s success. Here’s what Johnson had to say after the game:

“I’d like to remind everyone that the player to finish the season with the most cumulative Teddy Points wins dinner for two in the North End (motto: “I Got Ya Frickin Motto Right Here, Pally”). And remember, I double all Teddy Points earned against CRP. Now for this week’s award.

“Georgie and a couple other folks might have gotten a point or two this week Oh yeah, and they’ll be doubled since it was against CRP. Does anyone know where my pants are?”

Stats from the Maniacal One
Stats from the Maniacal One are brought to you by Raving Toy Maniac (motto: “Ten Pictures of the Same Four-Inch Toy? Why Not?”)

Here are this week’s off-beat stats from the Maniacal One:

• All Your Base Are Belong to Us: Wightman held CRP to just one extra-base hit--a double in the first inning by “Tight Pants,” as the official scorer called him.
• You Know What You Doing: The Sluggers had five extra-base hits--three doubles and two home runs.
• You Are On the Way to Destruction: Both the Sluggers and CRP had six runners left on base (LOB).

Player of the Week
The Player of the Week Award is brought to you by Play It Again Sports (motto: “Your Old Smelly Jock Strap Could Be Worth $2.50 in Store Credit”)

With the game tied at six in the top of the fourth inning. Isaac “Formerly Known as The Tool Man” Taylor untied the game for good by hitting his first ever home run--a two-run blast into the soccer players in deep center field. In honor of this great achievement, Coach Tony is complying with Taylor’s nickname request and officially changing his nickname to “Pudge”. “He earned the new nickname,” Coach Tony said during his post-game rubdown. “Taylor has improved his game tremedously. He’s having a breakout sophomore season. Compare his stats from last year to this year.” Taylor has improved in every offensive category, including that rare offensive statistic “number of discussions about contraception.”

Is it a coincidence that Taylor waited for the first game in which his father was in attendance to hit his first home run in a Slugger uniform? Let’s ask his father to attend the rest of our games to figure that out.

Like all PotW recipients, Taylor also showed some flair on defense. He caught a foul pop in the bottom of the fourth inning, but more importantly, he called another fantastic game from behind the plate.

See Taylor’s Player of the Week photo here.

Quotes of the Week
The Quotes of the Week are brought to you by Domo-Kun (motto: “Aaahhrg!”)

• “I have a natural high going. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s first place by Thursday morning!”--George “The Hit Man” Hart, Sluggers first baseman, predicting a Sluggers win at 9:45 AM, Monday, July 29 (The Sluggers were in first place by Thursday morning. Hart is going to work for Latoya Jackson’s Psychic Network.)
• “I had a Slim Fast and a Red Bull for lunch. Bad idea.”--Isaac “Pudge” Taylor, Sluggers catcher, describing his pre-game diet
• “So you feel like Tommy Lasorda with wings?”--Tony “Skip” Vinciguerra, Sluggers coach, doing the comedic equivalent of taking a fastball down the middle of the plate to deep center
• “Nice catch, Left Field!”--“Loud Mouth” (as the official scorer called him), Crappers short stop, giving props to Will “The Natural” Jamieson for his diving catch in the second inning
• “I’m not shaking your [expletive] hand.”--“Ponytails” (as the official scorer called her), Crappers catcher, talking to Ted “Ballgame” Johnson during the post-game handshake
• “If someone on the other team hates someone on our team, it’s probably me.”--George “The Hit Man” Hart (motto: “He Hate Me”), Sluggers first baseman

Next Game
The Next Game Announcement is brought to you by the Red Hat (motto: “Having Ten-Cent Wing Tuesdays Makes Us Seem Like Less of a Dive Bar”)

After a well-derserved bye week to recuperate from the heat, the 6-3 Sluggers take on the 0-7 Shriners Fez (motto: “Watch How Many of Us Can Fit In That One Tiny Car!”) on Tuesday, August 13 at on Field 2.

Batting Summary

No.	Name	Pos	AB	R	H	BI	2B	3B	HR	BB	K	SF
8	Tony Vinciguerra	SS	3	1	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
51	George Hart	1B	3	1	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
41	Will Jamieson	LF	3	1	2	1	2	0	0	0	0	0
6	Dan Landesman	CF	2	1	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	1
24	Robert Orleman	SF	3	2	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	0
7	Isaac Taylor	C	3	2	2	2	0	0	1	0	0	0
13	Ted Johnson	3B	2	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0
33	Wendy Millard	2B	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
5	Aaron Mathieu	RF	2	1	2	3	1	0	1	0	0	0
12	Michelle Fugere	2B	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
17	Mike Douglas	RF	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
16	Brian Wightman	P	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
11	Julie Scotti	C	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
31	Meghan Donnelly	DH	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
	Totals		33	10	17	10	3	0	2	0	0	1

Linescore	1	2	3	4	5	6	7		R	H	E
Sluggers	5	0	0	5	0	0	x		10	17	0
CRP	5	1	0	0	0	0	x		6	12	0

Pitching Summary

No.	Name	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR
16	Brian Wightman (Win)	6	12	6	6	0	4	0
	Totals	6.0	12	6	6	0	4	0