 |
Sluggers
| |
Sluggers
| |
| | ||
|
| ||
|
|
“The post-game show is brought to you by... Aw, the hell with it!” -- Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker) in Major League (1989) Sluggers comeback falls short as they fall to Infidels 12-9 --BOSTON, July 16, 2002 “A good friend of mine used to say, ‘This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.’ Think about that for a while.” -- Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh (Tim Robbins) in Bull Durham (1988) Flash back to the sixth inning of May 21, the last time these two teams squared off: Having never trailed in the game, the Fidelity Infidels are leading the Red Hat Sluggers 22 to 17 with an inning left to play. In the seventh inning, the Sluggers go on to mount a comeback turned rout, scoring 13 runs and winning 30 to 22. Tonight’s contest had a similar feel, including a seventh-inning rally by the Sluggers, who were trailing 12 to 6 going into the final frame. A bad open occurred during the final few minutes of the game. The base coaches were unable to give any verbal cues. Their voices were drowned out by two Coast Guard helicopters, which circled the field as a tug boat pulled a sinking boat through the Charles River. Unfazed by the Bad Karma Police, the Sluggers started to rally. Unfortunately, a ground-out RBI by Kristen “Killer” Smith, an RBI single by Mike “Mr. Perfect” Douglas, and an RBI fielder’s choice by Brandon “Waiting For” Guttman was all the Sluggers could muster. Tony “Skip” Vinciguerra’s post-game press conference had a Jeckyl and Hyde feel to it. “I feel like that psychotic weirdo, Jimy Williams,” said the Sluggers coach. “I liked the way Robert “Stretch” Orleman pitched in his first start of the season. He gave us seven walkless innings. You can’t ask for more than that. Our bats seem to be waking up. We got a lot of hits [17, to be exact], but also stranded a lot [the Sluggers left seven runners on base]. I don’t know whether to be happy or upset.” Offensive Play of the Game For the second time this season, Julie “Scotch Guard” Scotti had the offensive play of the game. Last time she won the award was June 18 versus the Shriners Fez. In that contest she hit an RBI single that gave the Sluggers a lead that they wouldn’t relinquish. Tonight, Scotti came to the plate with the bases loaded and two out in the sixth inning with the Sluggers trailing 9 to 5. Not succumbing to the pressure of the situation, Scotti waited for Fidelity’s pitcher to make a mistake, which he did. He hung a 2-2 breaking ball over the heart of the plate, and Scotti got all of it, ripping a single between second and short scoring “Good” Stan Hunting. “Scotch Guard is really learning patience at the plate,” said bench coach, Dan “Dinger” Landesman after the game. “She really looks at home in the box. She’s not reaching for cheese out of the zone anymore.” Other Offensive Highlights Will “The Natural” Jamieson’s two 2-run bombs were also noteworthy. Dan “Dinger” Landesman made this the second week in a row that the Sluggers have hit back-to-back long balls. Immediately after Jamieson’s two-run homer to left in the fifth inning, Landesman hit a solo shot to right. Matt “The Rock” Ronzio’s double in the fourth inning was the only other extra-base hit for the Sluggers. It was his first extra-base hit since he tripled May 28 versus State Street. (Note to managers of Fantasy Slow-Pitch Softball teams, the Sluggers’ next game is against State Street. You may want to activate Ronzio before that game.) These Sluggers batted 1.000 today:
Defensive Play of the Game This week’s Defensive Play of the Game occurred in the top of the third inning. With the game tied at two and the bases full of Infidels, Fidelity’s number two batter (The official scorer, Lisa “Car Wash” Roberts, simply called him “Bam Bam”.) strode to the plate. He lifted a 2-1 slider from Robert “Stretch” Orleman into the gap in left-center field. Will “The Natural” Jamieson and Dan “Dinger” Landesman ran towards it looking as though they thought the other had a bead on it. It was obvious to all watching that neither of them could get to the ball. As the ball descended between the two outfielders, Jamieson dove to his left, snared the ball, and rolled, much like Sparky the Fire Dog taught him in grammar school. The Stop, Drop, and Roll technique is not just for animated Dalmations and overzealous outfielders. It’s also for rednecks. Honorable Mention Robert “Stretch” Orleman pitched very well tonight. He used all four of his pitches: the fastball, curveball, cutter, and even that hard sinker that he never used coming out of the bullpen. “The sinker creates a lot of ground balls,” the tall, lanky right-hander said after the game. “You don’t want to use it in a save situation, but it can really help when you have to go the distance.” Go the distance he did, pitching a complete game for the first time in almost a year. Tony “Skip” Vinciguerra for getting a couple of 6-3 putouts in the early innings. It was Skip’s first error-free game all season. Teddy Points After each game, at the Red Hat, Ted “Ruxpin” Johnson hands out points given for the little things that don’t show up in the box score but still contribute greatly to the team’s success. Here’s what Johnson had to say after the game: “I’d like to remind everyone that the player to finish the season with the most cumulative Teddy Points wins dinner for two in the North End. And remember, I double all Teddy Points earned against CRP. Now for this week’s award. “Just when we thought we had seen all that the diving catch had to offer... “There was only one obvious Teddy Point in this otherwise sad, sad week in Sluggerville. Will “Don’t Call Me Jim Edmonds” Jamieson made a play some of us will be telling our grandchildren about, except that when I tell my grandchildren about it, I will be the one who made the catch. Rumor has it that the Coast Guard Medevac choppers only hovered over our field for so long in order to see Will make a few plays. “Personally, I think Will could have tracked that ball down on the run, but wanted to impress the girl in the blue shorts on the other field. Either reason, however, would still warrant a solid Teddy Point.” Stats from the Maniacal One Here are this week’s off-beat stats from the Maniacal One:
Player of the Week Will “The Natural” Jamieson giveth, and Will “The Natural” Jamieson taketh away. Specifically, he gives two runs at a time, and he takes away two runs at a time. Jamieson was unanimously voted Player of the Week for his outstanding defensive and offensive contributions. In the first and fifth innings, George “The Hit Man” Hart hit singles. In both innings, Jamieson drove him home with two no-doubt-about-it long drives past the Infidels’ left fielder. In the top of the third inning, Jamieson saved two runs with his amazing diving catch to keep the score tied at 3. See Jamieson’s Player of the Week stats and photo here. In the Running Dan “Dinger” Landesman is showing signs of the reason he earned his nickname when he drove a frozen rope to right field in the bottom of the fifth inning. It was his first home run since May 28 versus State Street. (Note to managers of Fantasy Slow-Pitch Softball teams, the Sluggers’ next game is against State Street. You may want to activate Landesman.) Injury Report RHP Brian “Wightman Can’t Jump” (toenail on left pinkie toe) pitched one inning of scoreless relief for Triple-A affiliate Brockton Rox earlier today. Wightman was sent down for a brief rehab assignment. Matt “The Rock” Ronzio (right knee) took a hard ground ball off the affected area in the seventh inning that came off the bat of “Blond Tennis Dude,” as he was known by the official scorer. Ted “Ballgame” Johnson replaced Ronzio in the field. Unfortunately, Sluggers Head Trainer, Meghan “Mad Dog” Donnelly is on vacation in Tahiti. Assistant Trainer, Tony “Nurse Ratched” Vinciguerra, gave Ronzio and ice pack and told him to “shake it off, suck it up, walk it off, and get back in there before I fine you $500 for insubordination.” Craig “Trump Card” Trumm’s (hamstring) woes forced the Sluggers to pinch run for him in the seventh. Ironically, Trumm reached first base by running hard on a soft dribbler down the third base line. He reported that the hamstring felt “like a wet piece of licorice” after his sprint to first base. Steve “Wheels” Baer was the pinch runner. He reached third on a double by Matt “The Rock” Ronzio (just minutes after taking that ball off the knee) and scored on a ground out by Kristen “Killer” Smith. Kristen “Killer” Smith (whirling sensation) knocked in that run even though she was relegated to DH duties tonight because she has been experiencing dizzy spells of late, according to team spokeswoman, Wendy “Wender Woman” Millard. Apparently her team having alternated wins and losses for six straight weeks is truly making her head spin. Smith is listed as day-to-day. The Rumor Mill Though stealing bases is not allowed in slow-pitch softball, some passersby on the Esplanade reported that the Sluggers lead the league in that category thanks to their mascot, Lou, who stole two bases after tonight’s contest. A State Street scout, who was scouting the Sluggers to prepare for their match-up next Tuesday, July 23, reported that the Sluggers instituted a new rule pre-game batting practice rule, which they call the Randall Simon rule. The rule insists that each person only take five swings in the cage. Why is it called the Randall Simon rule? “Randall Simon used to play in our league,” a Sluggers coach reportedly told the scout. “He’ll swing at almost anything. But he’ll also hit almost anything. It’s quite a sight to see Simon up there taking his hacks. He doesn’t get cheated. Watching Simon in batting practice has always been a treat, though. Some batters try to hit the ball the other way, using the entire field. Others concentrate on hitting the ball up the middle. Simon simply concentrates on hitting the ball hard. If you get a chance, do yourself a favor and watch Simon take batting practice. The guy swings hard at everything. He’s a pregame John Daly [who coined the phrase “Grip it and rip it!”].” The rumors about the cause of Craig “Don’t Call Me Jeff Kent” Trumm’s hamstring injury continue to grow. Stay tuned. According to a scout for the Sluggers, the reason why the Shriners Fez are 0-6 on the season is because their team captain was fired. The scout went on to say, “They’ve got that Pedro Martinez look-alike [his real name is Tony, and he looks like a Pedro Martinez bobble-head doll that’s been stretched] playing third, and they have a new shortstop that can’t catch. They both overthrow first base with mystifying consistency. It isn’t the same team as last year.” The scout watched all seven innings of the 27-7 debacle that they played tonight on Field 1. “You wouldn’t believe it. MDC coach, Mike Testa, went easy on the Fez. He played all of his worst players. He let someone who never pitched before pitch. He had all his hard-hitting summer interns on the bench. Sue, the Shriners scorekeeper, complained that she should have had an umpire. This league is getting too good for them.” An anonymous source close to the team says that the Sluggers are working on a new logo. Quotes of the Week
Next Game The second-place Sluggers are hosted by the fourth-place State Street Capitalist Pigs on Tuesday, July 23 at on Field 2. (Note to managers of Fantasy Slow-Pitch Softball teams, the Sluggers’ next game is against State Street. You may want to activate all Slugger players before that game.) Batting Summary
Pitching Summary
|
|
|
|
|
| |
all rights reserved |
