Sluggers Game Summary
at Fidelity
May 18
Come-Back Sluggers Overpower Fidelity
Seven-run seventh inning lifts Sluggers over Capitalist Pigs 11-7
--BOSTON, May 18, 2004
The first six innings resembled that eerie quiet feeling before a monsoon. Sure, the Sluggers scored three times in the first inning off of Dan "Dinger" Landesman's three-run home run, but Fidelity soon took the lead in the bottom of the second inning. The Capitalist Pigs added to their lead in the third and fifth innings. Except for one run in the third, the Sluggers kept putting goose eggs on the scoreboard.
Then came that fateful seventh inning. The Sluggers were trailing 7-4, and the top of the lineup was due. A single by Ben "Kenobi" Hardigg, an RBI double by Kevin "Mordecai" McKeon, and another three-run home shot into the trees that almost hit the commissioner's van by Dan "Dinger" Landesman put the Sluggers on top 8-7. They weren't done yet. The Sluggers added some cushion with a single by Tony "Skip" Vinciguerra, a double by BASH (Bald Ass Stan Hunting), a two-RBI single by Brian "Wightman Can't Jump", a single by Whitney "The Litany" Brown, and an RBI double by Adam "Plant The" Seidman. Suddenly Sluggers starter Brian "Wightman Can't Jump" (demoralized after not starting the season opener last week) was staked to an 11-7 lead going into the bottom of the seventh inning. For the first time all night, Fidelity went down in order.
"If there's one lesson to be learned from this, it's the universal truth of unathletic slow-pitch softball: hit the ball low and hard, and you win," said new Sluggers coach, Ted "Ballgame" Johnson during the post-game press conference. "If I recall, Fidelity scored just one run after the third inning. Can't argue with that."
Offensive Play of the Game
With one out in the top of the seventh and final inning, the Sluggers were trailing 7-5. Dan "Dinger" Landesman pointed to the league commissioner's van as he stepped up to the plate. He missed the van by inches, but still won the game with a three-run shot that gave the Sluggers their second consecutive road win of the season.
Defensive Play of the Game
In the bottom of the third inning, one unnamed Fidelity player tried to score an inside the park home run but was gunned down by a fantastic relay throw from right fielder BASH (Bald Ass Stan Hunting) to shortstop Steve "Wheels" Baer to pitcher Brian "Wightman Can't Jump", who applied the tag to erase the greedy Capitalist Pig.
Honorable Mention
Playing third base, Ben "Kenobi" Hardigg made an over-the-shoulder grab for the final out of the game that reminded many onlookers of Jose Offerman's only useful baseball skill.
George "The
Hit Man" Hart apparently used to work for Ben and Jerry's as he once again made several nice scoops at first base.
Stats from the Maniacal One
Here are this week’s off-beat
stats from the Maniacal One:
- Crazy Eights: Fidelity left an estimated eight runners
on base; the Sluggers left exactly eight players hanging.
- Order In the Court: The Capitalist Pigs were
set down in order in the seventh inning.
Pitcher Perfect
The following Sluggers batted 1.000 on the day:
Player of the Week
Dan "Dinger" Landesman's already historic called shot made him a shoe-in for PotW honors.
See Landesman's Player of the Week stats here.
In the Running
Despite losing a couple of miles per hour off of his fastball and being dropped to second in the rotation, Brian "Wightman Can't Jump" pitched a gem by allowing just seven runs on 15 hits while walking none and allowing no home runs. Wightman also helped his own cause by going 3-3 with 2 ribbies in the eight hole.
In just his second game in a Sluggers uniform, Kevin "Mordecai" McKeon went 2-3 with a double and an RBI.
Injury Report
Noah "n$" Cushing (vertigo) may be headed for the 15-day disabled list (DL) as he got a little too high and mighty after getting the opening day nod from new skipper Ted "Ballgame" Johnson. Team physician (and walking conflict of interest as he is a major stakeholder in the team) Craig "Trump Card" Trumm was contacted by phone on his yacht in Vero Beach. "Cushing has a mild case of vertigo caused by his big, swollen head," Trumm said. "One day on the bench should cure it." One reporter caught up with Cushing yesterday at the Playas Inaugural Mofo Pride (PIMP) convention in Las Vegas. "I just be dizzy n' #&*!," Cushing said. "I don't know jack about this veer to go. Maybe I been disbalanced by the extra bling bling."
The
Rumor Mill
Erin "M" Muhlhan hasn't appeared at any 2004 Sluggers gatherings. One source close to the player, who was picked up in the 2003 Rule-5 draft, says that Muhlhan has rid herself of all of her worldly possessions and joined a
Shirley MacLaine
fan club. The club's goal is to channel the deceased relatives of Sidd Finch.
Quote of the Week
"That was the best play I made all day."--Craig "Trump Card" Trumm, Sluggers second baseman, referring to twisting his ankle running to first base allowing pinch runner Steve "Wheels" Baer to enter the game, live up to his nickname, and keep the Sluggers' big seventh-inning rally going
Next Game
LaToya Jackson's psychic hotline tells this reporter that the Sluggers will get rained out (again) against the MDC Mad Cows next Tuesday, May 25 on Field 1. If the game is played, any fan wearing
a bra that reads "Milk the Mad Cows" gets a free pitcher of beer at the Red Hat and Jamieson's phone number after the game.
Batting Summary
| Linescore | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | R | H | E | | Sluggers |
3 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
0 | 7 | |
11 |
20 |
0 | | Fidelity |
1 |
3 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
0 | 0 | |
7 |
15 |
1 |
Pitching Summary
| 
Sluggers
