 |
|
Sluggers Game Summary
SHRINERS
August 3
Sluggers Flatten Fez
Sluggers roll to 9-0 record with 21-2 win over Shriners
--BOSTON, August 3, 2004
The Democratic National Convention even had its effect on the Sluggernaut. After a three-week layoff due to the DNC, the Sluggers showed some shaky defense in the top of the first inning, making two errors. The errors led to two unearned runs. At the time, it was preposterous to think that these would be the only runs scored by the Shriners Fez.
"The DNC had no effect on our staff ace," said Sluggers coach, Teddy "Ballgame" Johnson during his post game Cuban dominos match. "BW [Brian "Wightman Can't Jump"] seemed to throw a first pitch strike to every batter. He mowed down those Fez like an overworked victim of a child sweatshop." He did indeed. Wightman had two six-pitch innings, walked none, and did not give up an extra-base hit in his league-leading fifth complete game performance of the season.
Thanks to Wightman's outstanding pitching performance, the Sluggers had no trouble playing smart offense and tight defense the rest of the way, despite the loss of All-Star first baseman, George "The Hit Man" Hart.
Offensive Play of the Game
Tonight's Offensive Play of the Game occurred in the bottom of the fifth inning
with one out when Adam "Plant The" Seidman hit a sure double that he turned into a triple despite the fact that the Sluggers were leading 12-2 at the time. This marks the first time in team history that the Offensive Play of the Game was also offensive to the other team.
Other Offensive Highlights
Ben "Kenobi" Hardigg failed to hit a leadoff homer for the second straight game. He did, however, hit the only home run for either team in this six and a half inning contest. His three-run bomb in the bottom of the fifth inning put the slaughter rule into effect, though neither team chose to observe it.
Dan "Dinger" Landesman, who missed the last game amidst controversy, went 3 for 4 with two triples, a double, three runs scored, and two RBI.
Lach "Ness Monster" McLean was voted most efficient batter of the day. Although only having two official at-bats, McLean went 1 for 2 with three RBI on a single and two sacrifice flies, tying him with BASH (Bald Ass Stan Hunting) for the team lead in sac flies.
Defensive Play of the Game
This week's Defensive Play of the Game occurred in the top of the fifth inning when Sluggers first baseman Kevin "Mordecai" McKeon (in his debut at first base) applied a spinning tag to the hustling ever-annoying "One Oooouuuuut!" guy (as the official scorer called him) for the final out of the inning.
Stats from the Maniacal One
Here are this week’s off-beat
stats from the Maniacal One:
- Left of Center: The Fez left five runners
on base; the Sluggers stranded seven.
- Three Is the Magic Number: The Shriners were
set down 1-2-3 in the second, fifth, and sixth innings.
Team Perfection
Despite their complete diamond dominance tonight, not a single member of the Sluggers batted 1.000 on the day.
Player of the Week
Adam "Plant The" Seidman wasn't exactly sowing the seeds of love in this game, yet his coach insisted that he win Player of the Week "just for showing up...or is that just for showing up the opposition?" Seidman was just a home run shy of the cycle. It's hard to believe that he didn't try to stretch his first inning single into a home run given that the Sluggers were only up 5-2 at that time.
See Seidman's Player of the Week stats here.
In the Running
His previously mentioned commanding pitching performance is the primary reason Brian "Wightman Can't Jump" came in second in PotW voting. One should not overlook his valuable offensive performance as well. The veteran righty from
Hingham
went 2 for 4 with a single, a triple, and three RBI.
Injury Report
Ted
"Ballgame" Johnson (wrist) is showing little sign of discomfort from the broken bone in his right (throwing) wrist.
Peter "Howe The Heck Are Ya?" (hamstring) had a successful rehab start for the single-A Brockton Rox last night. Although he has a guaranteed $27 million, three-year contract, the grizzly veteran is barely breaking even given that he spent $26 million for the cryogenically frozen hamstrings of Ted Williams.
The
Rumor Mill
Trade rumors finally turned into reality when,
after the game, Sluggers coach, Teddy "Ballgame" Johnson announced that George "The Hit Man" Hart had been traded to the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters in a four-team deal shortly before softball's trade deadline. "I can't really picture him playing anywhere else," Sluggers star Craig "Trump Card" Trumm said of Hart. "You think Sluggers, George is the first name you think of." Hart was in the final year of his contract, and Sluggers GM Whitney "The Litany" Brown said she wasn't confident the team would be able to re-sign the two-time MDC League batting champion. Hart was dressed in his Sluggers jersey, preparing to play at home versus the Shriners tonight, when he heard about the trade. "My initial reaction was 'wow'," he said. "If it was in my control, I'd still be wearing a Sluggers uniform, because it's the place I know, I love. All of those fans, I'll always remember. But I'm also going to another great place. I'm going to a phenomenal city with great tradition as well, phenomenal fans, great clubhouse." And he added: "Hopefully, we'll see them in the Softball World Series." Hart is batting .500, slugging .818, with 11 RBI, and 2 home runs in six games played.
An unnamed source reports that after the game, Will "The Natural" Jamieson was seen taking extra batting practice from second base rather than home plate. When asked what he was doing, Jamieson informed the source that he was hitting balls at the press box in an attempt to bean the official scorer who scored Jamieson's would-be triple in the fourth inning as a double and an error.
Quotes of the Week
- "These guys look improved, no?"--Ted "Ballgame" Johnson, Sluggers coach, watching the Shriners take batting practice
- "Um...no."--Tony "Skip" Vinciguerra, Sluggers second baseman, responding to his coach
- "Only Adam turns a double into a triple in a 14-run game."--Ted "Ballgame" Johnson, Sluggers coach, watching his right fielder show up the Shriners in the bottom of the fifth inning
- "You're going to get us thrown at."--Ted "Ballgame" Johnson, Sluggers coach, reprimanding his right fielder
- "We would have had a shutout if it wasn't for Ted's error."--Will "The Natural" Jamieson, Sluggers left fielder, showing up his coach
- "Eew, a gross bug! Your hat is on fire! Icky germs!"--a young Shriners heckler
Next Game
After a 9-0 start, the Sluggers have earned a week off to rest their legs from rounding the bases. After sweeping their one-game home stand, the Sluggers take on the CRP Crappers on Wednesday, August 18 on Field 1. Any fan wearing
boxer shorts that say "I Gotta Take a CRP" gets a free beer at the Red Hat after the game.
Batting Summary
| Linescore | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | R | H | E | | Shriners |
2 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 | 0 | |
2 |
6 |
3 | | Sluggers |
5 |
0 |
4 |
5 |
5 |
2 | x | |
21 |
28 |
3 |
Pitching Summary
|
Sluggers
