Sluggers Game Summary
at Shriners
July 6
Sluggers Swing Over Mad Cows
Makeshift Sluggers outlast intern-stacked MDC in 14-9 win
--BOSTON, July 6, 2004
In the return of Steve "Wheels" Baer, the shorthanded Sluggers improved to 8-0 by opening up an early-inning can of whoop ass on the MDC Mad Cows. Baer hadn't played since May 18 versus Fidelity.
"Why do we call him Wheels," said Sluggers coach, Teddy "Ballgame" Johnson during his post game map folding class. "We call him Wheels because he moves faster than a man through the feminine hygiene aisle at the grocery store."
MDC has more rainouts (seven) versus the Sluggers than any other team. This season was no exception, when the teams were rained out on May 25th. Early season rainouts benefit MDC because it allows them to replace their older, less athletic starters with stronger, more virile college interns. However strong and athletic those interns may have looked while sitting on the bench, they did not provide much offense or defense in the field.
Even with a makeshift lineup, the Sluggers built up a huge early lead (14-1 after five innings), thanks in large part to the sluggish movement of the frat brothers from UNH.
Did I say "makeshift lineup"? First came the long-awaited return of Steve "Wheels" Baer. Baer had been "discovering his roots" to see if there was any gray hair in his future. Second came the stunning switch of having the injured Ted "Ballgame" Johnson play center field in place of Dan "Dinger" Landesman, who claimed that his hamstrings were sore. Sure, tell us another one, Dinger. Then came the placement of infielder Tony "Skip" Vinciguerra in right field. Fortunately, MDC is the only team in the league without a single left-handed batter. Then there was the addition of Sean "Well" Dunphy, a call-up from the single-A Brockton Rox. "I like playing for Bill Murray better," Dunphy said. Finally came the biggest surprise of all: Lach "Ness Monster" McLean got the nod to start on the hill. Usually a right fielder, the Carnegie Mellon graduate made the most of this opportunity, giving up just 16 hits and six earned runs--and most importantly no walks--in seven strong innings.
Offensive Play of the Game
Tonight's Offensive Play of the Game occurred in the top of the third inning
with one out when George "The Hit Man" Hart hit a deep sacrifice fly that easily drove in the eventual game-winning run in the person of Ted "Ballgame" Johnson.
Other Offensive Highlights
Will "The Natural" Jamieson's second home run of the day, driving in two runs in the fifth inning, put the game out of reach for the Mad Cows.
Craig "Trump Card" Trumm hit a lead-off triple in the second inning that sparked a 10-hit, seven-run inning.
Defensive Play of the Game
This week's Defensive Play of the Game occurred in the bottom of the fifth inning when Sluggers left fielder Will "The Natural" Jamieson and pitcher Lach "Ness Monster" McLean combined to throw out "Green Shirt/No Hat" (as the official scorer called him) at the plate for the second out of the inning, negating an earlier error.
Stats from the Maniacal One
Here are this week’s off-beat
stats from the Maniacal One:
- Left for Dead: MDC left six runners
on base; the Sluggers stranded eight.
- Ducks in a Row: The Mad Cows were
set down 1-2-3 in the third inning.
- Round and Round: The Sluggers sent 14 batters to the plate in the second inning, marking the first time they've batted around this season.
Perfect Bliss
The following Sluggers batted 1.000 on the day:
Player of the Week
Lach "Ness Monster" McLean was a lock (or was that "lach"?) for Player of the Week when the PotW committee reviewed his pitching line (see below). McLean also made his offense pay off by hitting an RBI single in the fourth inning.
See McLean's Player of the Week stats here.
In the Running
Will "The Natural" Jamieson came in second in PotW voting. He went 4 for 4 for the second straight week. He had a multiple homer game (two) for the second week in a row, he had a triple for the second week in a row, he batted in six runs for the second week in a row, and he came a double shy of the cycle for the second week in a row.
Injury Report
Ted
"Ballgame" Johnson (wrist) played through the pain tonight. While playing through the pain from the broken bone in his wrist, the pride of Danvers, Mass. played a mean center field, even making several successful throws in the air to second base.
Dan "Dinger" Landesman (hamstring) claimed that his hamstrings were sore prior to the start of tonight's game. Many feel that Landesman is faking the injury to give himself an extended All-Star break, like Brian "Wightman Can't Jump".
The
Rumor Mill
The best player not in the All-Star Game who begged out is Sluggers pitcher Brian "Wightman Can't Jump", who for the second straight season declined an invitation because he wanted to take a week off. He left the Sluggers last Friday and wasn't available for bullpen duty tonight as most of the rest of the starting pitchers in the league were. Sports radio callers are grilling Wightman like a bratwurst on the Fourth of July for putting himself above his teammates (who must be fuming). They are also looking for a a side order of manager Teddy "Ballgame" Johnson for letting him go.
Quotes of the Week
- "Can we borrow your bases, bats, and balls?"--Mike Testa, coach of MDC and league commissioner
- "If they don't have a softball team down there (St. Louis), I'll start my own."--George "The Hit Man" Hart, Sluggers first baseman on his move south
A Farewell to Hart
After the game, Sluggers coach, Teddy "Ballgame" Johnson announced that George "The Hit Man" Hart had been traded to the St. Louis Cardinals for their mascot. "He has more range--he's free-range actually" Johnson said "And he doesn't smoke."
Hart joined the Sluggers as a pimple-faced rookie on Tuesday, May 7, 2002. He has batted second in the order ever since. The Danvers, Mass. native came to the Sluggers in a trade with the
Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters of the Japanese Baseball League for Christian Goble. Getting off to a quick start in his rookie season, the UMass alumnus was named Player of the Week just two weeks later, a 30-22 romp over Fidelity in which the barrel-chested first baseman went 4 for 4 with two homers and seven RBI. Sluggers Nation found its new hero. It's no wonder that we will always remember Hart with a stick in his hand.
Special Thanks
The official score keeper would like to thank Sean "Well" Dunphy for keeping a clean book tonight. He would also like to thank Craig "Trump Card" Trumm for keeping up the book every game this season.
Next Game
After an 8-0 start, the Sluggers have earned an extended All-Star break. Fortunately, the Democratic National Convention (DNC) is providing a three-week reprieve for our heroes. They take on the 1-6 Shriners Fez on Tuesday, August 3 on Field 2. Any fan wearing
a fez that says "My other hat is a knitted tam-o'-shanter" gets a free beer at the Red Hat after the game.
Batting Summary
| Linescore | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | R | H | E | | Sluggers |
2 |
7 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
0 | 0 | |
14 |
21 |
4 | | MDC |
0 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
2 | 6 | |
9 |
16 |
3 |
Pitching Summary
| 
Sluggers
